Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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