I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
