I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize