I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
