I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
