if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I intend to get homeless drunk
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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