I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
