about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
