Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
