I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
