That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
