the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
