i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
