I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
