It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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