Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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