I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
