Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
