So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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