Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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