her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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