I wish i was in the wii world.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
