Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
is wine microwaveable?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
