are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish I could teleport
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
