I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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