Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
