We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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