quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
