if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
