Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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