Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
