What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Too much gin, very little bucket
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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