just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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