you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
