remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
