why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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