a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
