Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
