So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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