I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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