...so i touched it.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
