Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
