I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I am available for nakedness
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
