I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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