i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
