Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
