I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
