I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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