u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
