You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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