I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
