My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
