Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
